This morning I was told that I am unconscious. And it hit me pretty hard because it didn't come from some person trying to give me constructive criticism, it came from much deeper.
I can feel it. My focus has been less, I've been feeling sleepy, and misfirings in my memory have been pointed out to me. My meditation sessions have been scant and superficial. I've been smoking and drinking every chance I get. It's a slump I didn't quite notice was happening until I was neck deep in it.
It's time for a spiritual clean up. Time to get balanced. It is time for me to wake up and be conscious again. The easiest first step is to start fasting. This will address some of the energy and fuzzy mind issues. A return to a more conscious and robust meditation regimen will also help.
It raises questions in my mind about the uses of ritual purity in the True Grimoire. I will admit that I have not been the most stringent in my adherence to purity in the process. Perhaps some of its value lies in preventing this slow slide into torpor. And while I do bless my shower every morning and many of the glasses of water I drink, my practice of purity can use a big reassessment and update.
This is the ebb and flow of practice I've written about before.