Friday, January 8, 2016

Tarot Working, The Fool

Here are some notes on my work with The Fool.
I started by doing a little ceremony on the morning of the 1st in which I called The Fool, asking him to be present with me during the week and to impart to me his strengths and his wisdom. I was excited for the new year and the new project but I felt like I was also imbued with dynamism and energy. I attributed this feeling to The Fool. Then, as I was getting ready for my day I began to have strong feelings of wanting to escape and run from my responsibilities. I also attributed this to The Fool.
A little later I took my dog for a walk. At one point we passed a yard with a stone path. The way the morning sun hit it, it was beautiful, and it struck me as a symbol of The Fool. My dog and I continued on and I knew The Fool was with me. I had an impression of the beauty of the road, the path as a silken ribbon leading off forever into the distance. I took this as The Fool waxing poetic.
I asked him "how can I use your energy in my life?"
I heard the wind in the trees and my answer was call of the horizon pulling me forward into unknown lands.
I said to him "I am embarrassed to call you a fool."
Very strongly he answered "but I am a Fool!" and I had a vision of a jester in his hat with wildly rolling eyes. I laughed.
I said to him, "I feel unprepared for our conversation". Here I was with a dog on a leash having a conversation that I wanted to record by writing it down.
He said to me, "eh, you could have prepared for a day or a year and still not be prepared." Then his presence diminished and he said nothing else (that I heard).

The next day I tried a focused meditation but I couldn't quite get into it. I felt pressure from my responsibilities. After about half an hour or so I quit and I thought I heard faint laughter.

On Wednesday I tried a more formal ceremony to contact The Fool. I lit some candles, some incense, and set up my black mirror and the tarot card on the table. I called The Fool to come and speak with me. I repeated the word "fool" as a mantra. Soon the room seemed to get darker even though the candle flames didn't change. I kept calling and I got a response, The Fool said "I am here, I never left".
Building on my communication earlier in the week I visualized a path. Then I saw The Fool on the path ahead of me facing away so that I was looking at his back. But all of his back that I could see is shadow with bits of color, like patchwork in dim light. What I can see is his shoes, red, and the end of his red staff. They are in the mud, wet mud. And then I see that the path leads up a mountain.
I ask The Fool, "what's in your sack?"
He opens it and shows me that it is a big white egg.
I ask, "what the deal with the dog?"
He tells me that the dog is a goad, harrying him, keeping him moving. Their relationship is not always an amicable one but they have been together for so long that they are bonded.
The Fool seems restless, distracted. The card on the table seems to slide slightly to the right, though it doesn't actually move.
In my vision The Fool raps his knuckles against the shell of the egg in the sack and it sounds faintly like it cracks a little. He laughs nervously and wraps the egg back up in his bindlestiff. Then he turns resolutely toward the mountain but he hesitates. Suddenly he appears dressed very thickly in a dark coat as for winter.
I ask "why so dour?"
He gives me a dismissive "ehh...." and then he asks "where's the wine?" I was a little surprised but I went to my kitchen and poured us each a wine. As we had wine together I asked him to be a presence in my life but the vision had ended. I left him with his flame and wine until I went to bed.
I have really valued this week of concentrating on The Fool.

This morning I have transitioned from The Fool to The Magician with a small ceremony.

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