Sunday, December 21, 2014

Be Careful What You Wish For

I made a classic mistake and now it has me thinking about the nature of making requests of spirits. The incident has a good side and a not-so-good side. The good side is that I made the request as a part of the Astrachios Prayer and it was granted. The not-so-good side is that the realization of this request set me back in my magical practice a bit.
I asked the spirits for safe, reliable access to a certain illegal substance of which I am quite fond. A few weeks later I had that access in what I am sure is direct intervention by the spirits. I was elated. Not only was it cheap, it was home delivered! It also indicated to me a certain amount of success in my very slow exploration of the Verum material. The problem turned out to be that, since I am so fond of this substance, I frequently indulged in it. Predictably (in hindsight) my focus and priorities changed and I slowly did less and less magical work and what I did do was erratic, weak, and infrequent. And now, months later I feel as though I've lost ground.
Part of my mistake was justifying thinking "the spirits wouldn't give me anything that would impair my magical development". Surely if I am able to use magic to get what I want, then it is appropriate for me to get it. And further, that since it came at least partly from spiritual efforts it must in itself be spiritual. I took it as encouragement from the spirits that this substance was what I needed for the next steps of my spiritual development. I can work high, right?
It turns out the answer is "not really". But perhaps that was the answer I needed. Making requests is no small thing and asking for a gun to shoot yourself in the foot is just as valid as any other request. The spirits are not here to coddle you.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

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